"I've always felt that there's something inside me...that I want to give. Something that's only me and nobody else!" - from the movie Sister Act
Why do so many of us feel that way? Because there is something inside us that's ours alone. It's by design. Our Creator built us with a specific plan in mind and for a specific purpose. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God's masterpiece created specifically to do things that He has prepared for us to do. That's good news. It means that we are part of His plan, that He built us specifically for this time and this place. It means that He has placed in us gifts and passions to prepare us for the things He has just for us. And when we follow Him, allowing Him to be our Guide, he leads us to the very things for which we are destined, those things that often lie under the surface, the very things that make us feel if something inside us isn't expressed or doesn't come out, we'll just burst.
I've felt this way for a while. For many years I felt a great sense of purpose. I felt directed and as though I was accomplishing many things. During the past few years, as I laid down everything to be obedient to God, my life has been turned upside down. I haven't been able to express everything I am, and I feel like part of me has died. I sit with tears in my eyes as I write these words. There is an emptiness, a lack of fulfillment as it seems there are so many obstacles in my way, so many doors to my dreams slammed shut. And I wonder...I wonder who I am, what is my true calling, and when will I finally be released into my destiny - not someone else's destiny, not even the destiny my flesh may desire, but my true God-given destiny.
I feel like there is so much inside me I cannot contain it. But yet I feel as though I am contained and all I want to give, all I am - the pressure keeps growing and growing, and I don't know how much more my heart can take. I want to be free. I want to be released into the calling on my life. I want to be ready. And I want to be right with God all the way. I don't want to lag behind or go ahead of Him. I want to be in step with Him, and I want to know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
I want to write. I want to be published. I want to affect people's lives according to God's plan and purpose for me. I want to teach people how to live healthy lives. I want to do mission work and travel all over the world spreading the love of Jesus like my nieces spread peanut butter. I want to get it all over everything - and in massive quantities.
I want more. How about you?
Until next time...
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things he planned for us long ago (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).
