Living in Between

Do you ever wonder where God is, what He is doing, or what He wants you to do?  This season in my life provokes these questions.  I spend hours with Him in the morning, talking, reading His Word, listening at His feet.  The past few weeks, we sit across from one another, legs akimbo on the floor.  Sometimes we play checkers.  Sometimes we hold hands.  Sometimes we just sit quietly.  I feel very close to Him in these times, and it is wonderful.  He is bringing inner healing from anxiety and fears long buried in the dusty corridors of a child's memory.  He is bringing physical healing from a brain injury that occurred in March.  He is healing relationships and restoring my family.  He is moving.  So why am I not satisfied?

As I write, my heart changes.  I begin to feel His Presence.  I feel loved.  I write this from a bedroom in my parents' home, a place where God sent me to heal.  He also sent me here to be a healer...not that I would declare His Presence all the time or pray over family members constantly. He sent me here to be who I am, who He made me to be - someone who loves Him deeply, wants to talk about Him and share what He has taught me, someone who wants to walk naturally supernaturally.

I am healing physically, able to spend more time around crowds and loud noises.  Thankfully, this includes more time in the sanctuary during worship.  This is tremendous progress and a wonderful blessing.  It also leaves me wondering what is next for me.  The Lord is speaking to me about spending 2/5 of my time outside the U.S.  He is speaking about ministry and missions, part-time work, China, Taiwan, and Thailand.  He is also speaking about school abroad in the next few years, perhaps something in global public health.  He is speaking, and I love that.  Still, I am struggling.

I have learned to trust Him through the best of times and worst of times, but I am struggling to trust Him fully in finances.  Circumstances with a company and job loss have left a mountain of debt.  He tells me He will pay all of it, canceling my debts.  He has been speaking it for nearly seven years, and I am struggling to understand what He is doing and how He will do it.  I am nervous, anxious, and I have to let it go.  And I need His grace to do this.

I do not know how He will provide for me.  I do not know where He will take me or when.  I do not know how He will move.  But I know these things:  He has a plan for me, a plan to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  His thoughts toward me are precious and in such great number that I could not count them all (Psalm 139:18).  I am the apple of His eye (Zechariah 2:8). He forgives my sins and heals all my diseases (Psalm 103:3).  And I know that He rejoices over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).  He is an awesome God.  He is our Tower, Strength, and Refuge, the God of angel armies who fights for us.  He is our Savior, Redeemer, Comforter, Guide, Truth Revealer, Deliverer, and Friend.  He is our King and our loving Papa who delights in us, His precious children.  So even though there are so many things I don't know right now, so many things I wonder, I must hold fast to the truth of who He is and what He thinks about me.  After all, He is who He says He is, and He never changes (Malachi 3:6, Hebrews 13:8).  Praise the Lord for that.

So in the midst of turmoil and hardship, I am pressing into Him, looking to Him for guidance, next steps, wisdom, revelation, and understanding.  I am looking to Him for help, that I may enter His rest, something He promises to those of us who believe (Hebrews 3 and 4).  And I am looking to Him to give me the grace to trust Him more.  I want to move on from this place, but I want to receive all that He has for me here more than I want to be comfortable.  It is important not to waste the time we're in, however wonderful or painful it may be.  It also is vital to press into Him and ask what He has for us in this season, this place of rest or unrest.  When we go deeper with Him, we are guaranteed to receive His love and all the beauty and peace that comes with that, and all the wisdom, revelation, and grace to receive it, too.  He promises that when we call to Him, He will answer us and tell us great and mighty things we do not know (Jeremiah 33:3).  What an amazing promise.  Our God loves us, wants to be with us, and He wants to reveal Himself to us more and more and more.  What an amazing God we serve.

In "being" in this time and place, I also want to give.  I want to move and breathe, feel His Presence and release His Presence, praying and prophesying, healing and delivering just as He commanded and empowered us to do.  Yes, even though I sometimes feel confused and lacking in understanding, I want His Kingdom to come through me.  I want the world to know who He is and how much He loves them.  I want the world to know what He's really about.  Yes, that He came to save us but also that He came to empower us to live this life now and restore His dominion on the earth.  There is so much I want to share, so much I want to do.  And while all this is important, I also hear His voice saying, "Rest."  He assures me that through rest, He is restoring me, that it isn't about what I do, but rather, it's all about Him and what He's doing.  And I trust Him with this.  I've seen Him in action.  He has healed me from infections, cancer, and MS symptoms, and restored a brain, heart, and body with many injuries - just to name a few.  He has shown me His love and kindness in so many tangible ways.  He has shown me He is always there in times of desperation and that I can depend on Him to deliver me.  He has redeemed much.  He truly is my Guy.  So when healing and release come from this season in my life, I can trust Him, and we can move forward together to the "next" He has for me, wherever, whatever, or with whomever that may be.

Until next time...

Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing (NKJV).

Stretch Out Your Hand

This morning, the Lord led me to read Matthew 12:7-13.  Jesus was in the synagogue, and the Jewish leaders were lying in wait to accuse Him, asking if it was lawful to heal on the Sabbath.  Jesus, fully aware of their intent, exposed their hardened hearts.  There stood in His midst someone in need of healing, someone who needed to be made whole.  So Jesus told the man to stretch out his hand.  This is a big deal, especially in the Jewish culture in Jesus' day.  The man's hand would have been a source of ridicule, shame, and embarrassment, something that he most likely wanted to remain hidden forever.  And Jesus said, "Give it to me."  As the man trusted Jesus, the hand was completely restored.  The accounts never state that Jesus touched the man, so the Jewish leaders could accuse Him of nothing.  But in this, we see an ordinary man with a heart of humility and faith that stepped out toward Jesus and met the heart of the Father.

I don't know about you, but I am in need of restoration and encouragement.  And I want to meet the heart of the Father.  I want to know my heart matters to Him, that He loves me more than anything.  I want to see His Kingdom break through for me and everyone around me.  When I read this story, it brings me hope that He sees me, that He loves me, and that He wants to meet all my needs - physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, relational.  And it also reminds me that I have a part to play.  I must trust Him with all that is broken in me, even the most embarrassing, shameful things. And when I do, He shows up. In fact this morning as I read the account, Jesus said to me, "Stretch out your hands."  I first held them in front of me and saw something like a holograph of how withered they were.  I then felt compelled to lift them to Him and began to cry.  He spoke of how my hands were withered in a sense, keeping me from writing and working.  And then, He restored them and told me to write about what He had done.  I love when He renews me and gives me eyes to see.

I have been held back for some time and I haven't known what to do.  I have continued to pray and cry out.  I have continued to ask Him for help and pray with others for guidance, wisdom, breakthrough, etc., etc., etc.  I need help, and it came today...in the form of a Man once broken for you and me that through Him we might be whole again.

My prayer:  May we release all that is withered in and around us to Him, regardless of shame, embarrassment, or any other cost.  And may we truly be free, restored, whole, and well, living in and seeing breakthrough, that we might be the hands, the heart, the feet, and the voice of Jesus, the One who stretched out His hand for us.

Matthew 12:13 (NKJV)
Then He said to the man, "Stretch out your hand."  And he stretched it out, and it was restored as whole as the other.

Be Still and Know

Sometimes the most difficult thing we can ever do is be still.  Psalm 46:10 reads "Be still and know that I am God."  It's a great concept; it's a great life verse.  But why?  Why "be still?"  Psalm 46 lists a few of God's attributes:

• "God is our refuge and strength" (v. 1)
• "A very preset help in trouble" (v. 1)
• He remained in the midst of His city and protected it (v. 5)
• "He uttered His voice, the earth melted" (v. 6)
• "The Lord of hosts" (i.e., the God of angel armies) "is with us" (v. 7)
• "The God of Jacob is our refuge" (v.7, 11)
•  He "made desolations in the earth" (v. 8)
• He will be exalted (v. 10)

This is why we can "be still and know" that He is God.

I need to remember these things, i.e., who God is and what He can do.  I need to remember because for me, this is a season of being still.  I am recovering from a brain injury that occurred in early March of this year.  I still am unable to work in a conventional setting, only being able to see the occasional client, and I have a significant sensitivity to sound.  Even general conversation can be overstimulating, causing nausea, fatigue, headaches, etc.  

Please don't misunderstand.  I am grateful for many things.  For the second time in my life, I was able to walk away from a vehicle that rolled.  I am grateful that most higher function remained in tact.  I am grateful to have virtually no pain.  These are gifts, the very definition of grace.  I also am thankful for the many improvements that have come, especially in the past 4-6 weeks.  I attribute most of this to prayers received.  (Thank You, Jesus, for being my Healer.)  Yes, I am grateful for healing, even though it is occurring at a much slower pace than I would like.  I am grateful.

Being a scientist and specializing in nutrition, I look for things I can do to improve my health.  I realize that these efforts are not without merit.  However, the greatest leap in healing came recently after eight days away, staying with my aunt's dog.  The Lord told me I would return home completely different, and, as always, He was right.  During my time there, I found I was able to handle noises of the city without needing earplugs, something I had not been able to do for nearly 6 months.  The Lord led me on occasion to stop reading His Word and just watch a funny movie or show with Him.  At the end of my time away, I was able to drive home without earplugs, and I was even able to listen to music for a portion of the journey, fun old music like the Beach Boys and CCR.  And the evening I arrived home I was able to attend a party at my sister's and spend time with my nieces and nephew, all without earplugs.  A clear, convincing moment that rest and being still are perhaps the best medicine of all.

I live a life where intimacy with the Lord and stillness before Him are top priorities.  I love the simplicity of this and reap the blessings of the Lord's continual Presence.  I absolutely hunger and thirst for these times, a way of life of highly recommend.  Still, this time of recovery has been a challenge due to the need for complete rest - no reading, writing, phone, movies, walks, talks, etc. - absolutely no stimulation.  While this has been frustrating at times, I know its importance for healing.  Yes, the Lord shows me continually that being still is best, that when I wait for Him, He truly renews my strength.  He has shown it to me over and over again, just has He did with the recent trip away.  And I am blessed He is so patient with me as I try to stop trying so hard.  He continues to reinforce "being" as opposed to "doing," resting as opposed to striving, enjoying life as opposed to going through the motions.  I pray He reveals the same to you.  And I pray that He gives you the grace to rest and truly be still and know that He is God.

As Paul signed off in most of his letters, grace be with you...and peace, too.

Taking Time

I have been out on the patio this morning with God, enjoying the sunshine, warm temperature and reading Frances Mayes’ memoir Every Day in Tuscany: Seasons of an Italian Life.  I love her writing because it flows like a journal.  It isn’t a novel with defined chapters and a plot.  It’s life.  It’s taking back time from the would-be takers, the task-masters of work, appointments, the vicissitudes of daily life.  She writes of how Tuscany has taught her to take time.  I understand this.  I love this and have loved it ever since first traveling regularly to Europe, starting in my late 20’s.

I love that so many European cultures understand the art of taking time.  Time to be with neighbors.  Time with family and friends.  Time to garden or mend an old shirt.  Time to rest lazily in the summer sun with a favorite book.  Time for that cup of tea with a friend.  Time to share an evening in front of the fire.  Time.  Something so elusive and yet so necessary to joy in our daily existence.

We are so busy being busy that we don’t take time to notice all the little things going on around us.  All the little things that can be ever so important.  A child who needs a hug.  A mother who needs you to listen.  One of the most important things in life is simply this: pay attention.  Whether you know the individual or not, pay attention.  Tip the waitress heartily.  Pray for someone you don’t know – right there in the moment.  Just be present and love the one right in front of you.  That’s what Jesus did, and it changed the world.

Jesus told us that His food was to do the will of the Father and to finish His work.  Only by spending time with the Father was Jesus able to do this.  It is the very same for us.  He will give you immeasurably more than all for which you could ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).  That’s a promise.  So take time today.  Take time for you.  Take time for those around you.  And most importantly, take time for Jesus…and enjoy!

Until next time…

John 4:34 (NKJV)

“My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.”

Stillness, Coffee and Breakfast with the Horses

Have you ever considered taking a moment of stillness?  Is the very thought of this painful or inconceivable?  Yes, we live in a microwave, get-it-in-two-seconds or get-it-yesterday culture.  We have lost the aptitude for stillness.  Yet it is to this place of rest that Jesus calls us.  It is in the still, quiet moments that we find Him, that we hear His voice more clearly, where suddenly all that is muddled may become clear.  The noise is gone, and He can get through.

Stillness, quietude, these are a lost art.  Many think that meditation and quiet are for those who practice yoga or other Eastern religions, but that is not so.  For we see it in Scripture: Jesus went away by Himself to pray.  Also, in the early church meditation and quiet before the Lord were standard practice.

Quiet isn’t to be feared.  It is to be savored.  When the noise clears, and we are quiet before the Lord, the focus is on Him and nothing else.  It is these moments I have heard His voice most clearly, where I have received revelation and direction, where I have experienced my deepest healings.  It is the best way to be restored.

While He has healed my heart, led me to forgive, led me to start companies, led me to all sorts of things, I am surprised sometimes by what He tells me.  For instance yesterday.  We talked about coffee, something I have not had in a very long time.  I had been craving it, which was strange.  I had given it up over ten years ago for health reasons.  Wouldn’t partake of it unless He said it was okay.  Suddenly, it was okay.  He led me to read a passage in II Kings where a devastating famine came to an abrupt end.  So it was for me yesterday.  He led me to coffee, a shortbread and breakfast with the horses I love so well.  It was a time of great refreshing for me.  And for the sum total of ~$6, I was transported to a world of quiet, dreams, a place where anything was once again possible, a place where I felt refreshed and as though my body is healing.  It was wonderful, much needed, and much appreciated.  I don’t totally understand what is going on, but this I know:  He loves me; He truly loves me.  And because of this, He gave me my heart's desires, something I didn’t totally grasp until I spent time with Him, talked with Him, rested quietly with Him.

I promise you that He wants to talk to you.  He wants to share His heart with you, heal you, lead you to places you can't even imagine.  I know, because He has done the same for me.

If this is totally new to you, try it for 10-15 minutes for two weeks.  No distractions – no phones, computers, iPads, etc.  Nothing.  Just you and Him.  Try it.  You won’t be disappointed.  Enjoy.

Until next time...

Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV)
'Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know.'

Episodic Memories: The Joy of a Family that Loves You

There is nothing quite so spectacular as feeling loved.  It provides me with a sense of security, of feeling like I belong, that I matter to those around me and to the God who created me.  I am fortunate to have a family, both related to me by blood and by the Lord above, that loves me and that I love - dysfunctional as we sometimes are, we definitely love each other deeply.  My greatest joys and episodic memories are with them, right next to me, front and center.

I have one brother, Tim, and one sister, Tiff.  We all trekked to Europe for the first time together 14 years ago.  Tiff left to meet our brother-in-law, Matt, who was studying in Amsterdam at the time, and Tim and I left the following day for La Belle France.  Made our poor mother a wreck as we all left the country at once.  (Her incident on the phone with a French hotel desk clerk to be recounted later.)  The four of us met up in the middle of France and had a glorious time.  I can hardly wait to do this again so that we can include my sister-in-law Joanne, and possibly the little ones who can hardly wait to go on wild adventures with us.

Then, there are the memories of seeing Joseph for Tim's 21st birthday, those dinners he, my roommates, and I had while we were in college, taking him flying over Chicago (back when we could still do this) for his 25th birthday.  Tiff being 10 when I left for college and coming to visit one weekend, taking her bowling, to Willie's for ice cream drinks, and the one I'll never forget - to Pickles, which had the best cheeses sticks in town.  On the menu they were listed as beer-batter cheese sticks.  Tiff looked at me quite seriously and asked, "Do you think it's okay if I have some?"  I assured her it would be okay. :-)  Ah, the innocence.

Also included are childhood memories of snowmobiling and warming by the fire afterward.  Remember those melted shoe soles, Mom?  Yes, my mother always wears her shoes in the house, something I have inherited from her.  With her feet propped up on the hearth, she left them there a bit too long and the rubber soles of her then favorite loafers became gooey.  So much for that.

And oh yes, the gargantuan debacle, the horrifying-at-the-time trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, a place Mom had always wanted to go.  It was the summer after my senior year in high school, and my brother and I had no desire to go.  Even now, memories of that trip make me laugh out loud.  We hated it at the time.  It was one of those trips where my brother and I would have our headphones on (attached to Sony Walkmans back then), not be listening to music but rather pretending, so that we wouldn't have to answer Dad when he told us to look at something ridiculous...oh, yes, I am suddenly remembering the Great Corn Palace.  Yes, there actually is something called the Great Corn Palace, entirely made out of corn.  If I remember correctly, it's in Nebraska.  Not sure.  Definitely not googling that.  Wow, had totally blocked out that memory.  Whew.

Anyway, we had noticed numerous Harley riders on the interstate.  This brought back a not-so-fond memory from my mother's childhood, so when passing a rather large group of bikes going 70 miles an hour, my mother nonchalantly reached over and locked the car doors.  As we passed them, my quite ornery father rolled down her window.  A straight arm came across his chest with a great thud.  We three kids were laughing hysterically.  While Mom was chastising Dad, I couldn't help myself and quoted a line from one of our favorite movies, Johnny Dangerously.  (There was a gangster in the movie who tried to swear but didn't):  "You fargin, sneaky bastage.  I'm going to cut your boils off and put 'em in a sling."  Again, we all laughed hysterically.  After Dad finished laughing, he said, "Tam, you're not helping."  It was fun and made Mom laugh, too - mission accomplished. :-)

By the time we actually had driven all the way across the barren wasteland (or so I thought at the time) of Nebraska and South Dakota, Tim and I did something straight out of a movie:  We put our arms on each other's shoulders, looked at Mount Rushmore, and said to each other something like, "Okay, that's enough of that."  Later that night...or perhaps another...I don't know, they all sort of run together at this point...we got lost in Custer State Park and almost ran out of gas.  Thought Mom would kill Dad...Oh, our poor Dad.  He has taken much flack over the years for this trip.  Still, something in me hopes we could do it again for the laughs alone.  The morning after that fateful night, gas tank now full, we sat in a restaurant, eating a veritable smorgasbord of pancakes, waffles, eggs, and the like, when my dad looked at a mammoth strawberry.  In my brother's quiet and understated way, he looked at Dad seriously and said, "Don't worry; it'll fit."  We all about doubled over with laughter.  It truly was hilarious and finally broke the ice that remained from the night before.

Why we did it, I have no idea.  But we actually went back to Custer State Park after breakfast.  We had seen more buffalo than you can imagine.  Mom said something about each of us being able to have a hundred pictures of buffalo.  To which I replied, "Yes, and we won't even need reprints."  Again, much laughter.  My dad is not much one for asking directions.  Now, in his defense, he is a great map guy, something I love that I inherited from him.  Anyway, this particular not asking for directions was what led to the near-miss in running out of gas.  And this day, it also led to going off the beaten path and driving next to boulders that were 3-4 times the size of the car.  Since this time, we have become Jeep people.  Jeeps could handle this terrain.  An Oldsmobile 98 couldn't.  My mom, who was never one to put her foot down with Dad, suddenly became adamant in two ways.  The first was to tell Dad to stop the car immediately and turn around.  The second was to respond to this comment of Dad's.  "We're going to Yellowstone."  Now, most of the time, this wouldn't be a bad thing.  In fact, most of the time, this would be a great thing.  Here was my mother's comment:  "No, Donnie, it's on fire."  Need I say more?

Oh, I love my family.  We have come a long way from those days.  I love the newer additions, who aren't so new.  Matt and Joanne became official members nearly 12 years ago, and since that time there are 5 little people, who bring more joy than I could recount in numerous dissertations.  I love that the little ones love Jesus and sing about Him all the time.  I love that they love to travel and have great adventures, even if they are only in the imagination.  Take this one for instance:

This past Christmas was perhaps the best Christmas we have ever had.  (And believe me, we have always had a good time being together.)  My nieces Kate and Gabriella are 5 years old.  Kate belongs to Tiff and Matt, while Gabriella belongs to Tim and Joanne.  Kate had decided she was going to wait up for Santa.  Christmas morning, Kate, Gabriella and I were in the kitchen.  I overheard Gabriella ask Kate if she had seen Santa.  Kate said no and returned to the freshly opened gifts in the living room (in the house where we grew up, which had, at that time, just become Tiff and Matt's house).  I turned around, smiling, to glance into Gabriella's eyes.  She raised her eyebrows, and gave me a sober look, one I had seen many times on her father's face, and this is what she said:  "I saw him."  I nearly laughed out loud.  I asked where she had seen him, to which she replied:  "Out the window and I came down[stairs] in my socks."  I could hardly wait to tell everybody.  Her mother laughed and asked, "When does imagination become lying?"  Tiff said that she probably dreamed it.  And if her imagination is anything like her father's was, truly wild and free, who knows what stories she will tell.  Well, whether it was dreaming or envisioning, it doesn't matter.  It is art and joy in the making.

I could tell you tons of stories about them...and probably will, and this is just my immediate family.  There is extended family and spiritual family, too.  So whether your family, the people who truly mean the most to you, is by blood or made in a place even deeper and richer than that, in the spiritual realm, may you find joy in living out loud with those God has placed around you.  And may you find strength that comes from that joy in knowing you are loved.

Until next time...enjoy!

John 17:21 (ESV)
"That they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they may also be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me."

The Great Provider

It is a quiet Sunday morning.  A gray morning, and very little is stirring outside.  A turtle dove coos for his mate.  I have just finished a turkey and Swiss croissant, munched on a bit of organic grapefruit and am sipping valerian root/hibiscus tea.  Quietude.  Ahhh.  What a way to spend the morning with God.

He has been speaking to me this morning through II Kings 7.  The city is besieged, and there is a great famine.  Elisha tells the king that by the end of the day there will again be abundance.  No one can see how this is possible with the Syrian army encamped about them.  How will they survive? 

Four lepers who sat at the city gate decided to give themselves up to the enemy army.  After all, they were starving anyway.  But when they arrived at the camp, they found no one.  Why?  Because the Lord had caused the soldiers to hear the sound of horses and chariots.  Thus, the Syrians surmised that the Israelites had hired armies to take them out, so they ran for their lives, leaving everything in the camp intact.  The lepers began to plunder the tents then decided to tell the king.  And so it was, once again, that God saved the Israelites without them having to lift a finger.  He provided food, plunder and victory – provision in its finest forms.

And so I think on all He is calling me to do right now.  It is simple and yet difficult:

“Rest, My child.  Let Me do this for you.  I will do the work.  I will provide for you.  Rest in Me and you shall find new strength.  You will be able to labor if you will only rest.”

Ah, how He doesn’t make sense.  What a paradox.  What an amazing and wonderful God who is an abundant Provider, the Provider of abundance.

May you have joy today and may you find rest in Him.  May He rebuild and remake you, restore and revive you.  May He give you the life of abundance He promises as we seek Him and His righteousness first.  Bless you today.

Until next time…

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you… do not worry” (Matthew 6:33-34, NKJV).

Crossing the Red Sea Once More

I just watched "We Bought a Zoo."  Good film.  Change.  Moving on.  Doing the work required.  Victory.  It is an inspiring story about taking a chance to make a difference and find happiness.  So important, so important.

It has been ages since I last posted anything to this blog, something that well...just is.  Amazing how easily we get caught in all that is thrown at us.  These past several weeks I have had pause in my life.  I had an accident that caused my Jeep to flip and roll.  Thankfully, she was the only casualty. I was very fortunate to walk away with scrapes, bruises and a concussion.  I have had concussions before but never like this.  I have never experienced symptoms and effects of neurological injury this long.  I am deeply affected by sound, especially loud music, crowds and talking on the phone.  I have difficulty processing significant amounts of information and have to take things slowly, in stages.  This has affected my attendance in worship, being out, and also my work.  I am learning more about how to take care of me, how to say no, how to rest even more.  It isn't easy, but I am working on it.

This week, God led me to Exodus 13 and 14 a total of six times in three days.  These Scriptures record how the Israelites left the land of Egypt and crossed the Red Sea.  Powerful text, but I didn't know what it fully meant for me.  He gave me visions of crossing the Red Sea, but still, I kept asking and waiting.  Then Wednesday, I relayed to a friend remembrances of illness, leaving a job, the Lord providing rest for a few weeks and then literally handing me a part-time job while I started a company.  It wasn't until that moment I realized that once again the Lord was asking me to step out in faith, leave the current work so that I could heal, and then receive the part-time work He has for me as I work on another business venture.  It took me a few days,  but I finally got it.  I am claiming "concussion"...if that were only true. :-)  After I finally got it, the Lord gave me a vision of Him and me having crossed the Red Sea.  He stretched out His hand, and the waters swallowed up my enemies.  Thank You, Jesus.

The first time the Lord asked me to start a company and leave a job, I was filled with the Lord's rest.  I cannot say that about this time.  In fact, it was tremendous unrest.  I was even a bit terrified, even though I knew (and know) that the Lord will take care of me, provide for my every need, and give me more than I could ever ask or imagine.  Two friends prayed with and over me that afternoon, sharing great visions and words that the Lord gave them.  Then, later that evening, my two prayer partners came, and our time of prayer was amazing.  God showed up so powerfully for all of us.  He showed up for me with words of peace, telling me that I don't have to do anything, that He will take care of it - everything.  But it wasn't until later that night that I truly felt His peace.  As I sat in bed and opened His Word, He sent me to read Exodus 16:18-21, where He provided manna to the Israelites daily.  Finally, I could breathe.  And if that word wasn't enough, the next morning, He sent me to Exodus 16 again, but this time He included verse 22 where the Israelites were to gather a double portion.  He spoke to me, promising me a double portion, not just for the Sabbath but daily.  While I don't totally understand the ramifications of this, I'll take it.

I am remembering Jesus prayer as He taught the disciples to pray: "Give us this day our daily bread."  The original language means "just enough for today."  Enough.  What a great word.  The Lord promises that He will take care of us, providing everything we need.  O how hard it can be to take Him at His word.  If only we would.  This truly is the road to freedom.

Thank You, Lord for Your promises and provision.

Until next time...

Matthew 6:25-33
    ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?

   ²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."