Last weekend included a project and fun food with my mom. I have been waiting to paint my kitchen for nearly five years. I saw the color the moment I stepped into my house as I moved in. A bright sunny yellow, the color of plaster walls in Tuscany soaked with sunshine. Brings peace to my mind and joy to my spirit. My mother came up for the occasion to help and offer guidance. We did a lot of laughing. However, before we embarked on our painting spree, we made great quesadillas to provide the energy and sustenance we would need to last til midnight.
Quesadillas are a family favorite, and I always like to try new things, making something a bit different than the norm. And while this is not a severe departure, it was new and fun for us, not to mention healthy and hearty. Hope you enjoy.
Black bean mixture - made with dried black beans (cooked), organic onion, cumin, sea salt, and pepper
Organic short and long grain brown rice
Organic ground beef with organic cumin, sea salt and pepper
Organic roma tomatoes
Organic onions
Fresh organic cilantro
Organic tortillas
Mixture of Italian cheeses
Fresh pico de gallo from a favorite local Mexican restaurant (El Toro rules!)
We stuffed these quesadillas full, and in turn, Mom and I were stuffed. With all the great food we indulged just a bit, eating a few bites of a light, delectable strawberry cake from another favorite local restaurant (Jim Gould's). Then, it was time to paint. Walls soaked with sunshine, hearty healthy food, a little sweet, and great fun with my mom does the body and soul good - at least it does this body and soul good.
To your health...and joy.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Release me, Lord...please
"I've always felt that there's something inside me...that I want to give. Something that's only me and nobody else!" - from the movie Sister Act
Why do so many of us feel that way? Because there is something inside us that's ours alone. It's by design. Our Creator built us with a specific plan in mind and for a specific purpose. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God's masterpiece created specifically to do things that He has prepared for us to do. That's good news. It means that we are part of His plan, that He built us specifically for this time and this place. It means that He has placed in us gifts and passions to prepare us for the things He has just for us. And when we follow Him, allowing Him to be our Guide, he leads us to the very things for which we are destined, those things that often lie under the surface, the very things that make us feel if something inside us isn't expressed or doesn't come out, we'll just burst.
I've felt this way for a while. For many years I felt a great sense of purpose. I felt directed and as though I was accomplishing many things. During the past few years, as I laid down everything to be obedient to God, my life has been turned upside down. I haven't been able to express everything I am, and I feel like part of me has died. I sit with tears in my eyes as I write these words. There is an emptiness, a lack of fulfillment as it seems there are so many obstacles in my way, so many doors to my dreams slammed shut. And I wonder...I wonder who I am, what is my true calling, and when will I finally be released into my destiny - not someone else's destiny, not even the destiny my flesh may desire, but my true God-given destiny.
I feel like there is so much inside me I cannot contain it. But yet I feel as though I am contained and all I want to give, all I am - the pressure keeps growing and growing, and I don't know how much more my heart can take. I want to be free. I want to be released into the calling on my life. I want to be ready. And I want to be right with God all the way. I don't want to lag behind or go ahead of Him. I want to be in step with Him, and I want to know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
I want to write. I want to be published. I want to affect people's lives according to God's plan and purpose for me. I want to teach people how to live healthy lives. I want to do mission work and travel all over the world spreading the love of Jesus like my nieces spread peanut butter. I want to get it all over everything - and in massive quantities.
I want more. How about you?
Until next time...
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things he planned for us long ago (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).
Why do so many of us feel that way? Because there is something inside us that's ours alone. It's by design. Our Creator built us with a specific plan in mind and for a specific purpose. Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God's masterpiece created specifically to do things that He has prepared for us to do. That's good news. It means that we are part of His plan, that He built us specifically for this time and this place. It means that He has placed in us gifts and passions to prepare us for the things He has just for us. And when we follow Him, allowing Him to be our Guide, he leads us to the very things for which we are destined, those things that often lie under the surface, the very things that make us feel if something inside us isn't expressed or doesn't come out, we'll just burst.
I've felt this way for a while. For many years I felt a great sense of purpose. I felt directed and as though I was accomplishing many things. During the past few years, as I laid down everything to be obedient to God, my life has been turned upside down. I haven't been able to express everything I am, and I feel like part of me has died. I sit with tears in my eyes as I write these words. There is an emptiness, a lack of fulfillment as it seems there are so many obstacles in my way, so many doors to my dreams slammed shut. And I wonder...I wonder who I am, what is my true calling, and when will I finally be released into my destiny - not someone else's destiny, not even the destiny my flesh may desire, but my true God-given destiny.
I feel like there is so much inside me I cannot contain it. But yet I feel as though I am contained and all I want to give, all I am - the pressure keeps growing and growing, and I don't know how much more my heart can take. I want to be free. I want to be released into the calling on my life. I want to be ready. And I want to be right with God all the way. I don't want to lag behind or go ahead of Him. I want to be in step with Him, and I want to know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
I want to write. I want to be published. I want to affect people's lives according to God's plan and purpose for me. I want to teach people how to live healthy lives. I want to do mission work and travel all over the world spreading the love of Jesus like my nieces spread peanut butter. I want to get it all over everything - and in massive quantities.
I want more. How about you?
Until next time...
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do good things he planned for us long ago (Ephesians 2:10, NLT).
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A Call to the Desert...Literally
A few years ago, the Lord called me to the desert...literally. I felt led to take a short vacation in Colorado. As was often the case at that time, I took the initial leading from the Lord and ran with it. I thought, "Okay, I can see Aspen in the spring. This will be great." Ohhhhhhhh no. The Lord had completely different plans. He led me to a website. A site for a place that rented cabins caught my eye. The cabin...well, house actually - could have slept 16 people - was available for one night. Then, a site for a lodge caught my eye. The two were located near one another. No surprise there. I felt like I was to take the house for the one night, which was in the middle of my trip, and a room at the lodge - and I use the term "lodge" loosely - for the nights prior and after. Accommodations booked, flight booked, car rental booked. Everything was set.
This was kind of a last-minute trip, so to stay slightly economical I flew to Albuquerque, which was 4 hours away from where I was staying. A long drive into the desert at night. The sky was magnificent. It was a moonless night, and the stars were out by the billions. A great way to begin the trip.
As I continued to drive, I grew tired. In fact, within 45 miles of my destination, I literally was having trouble keeping my eyes open. Then, out of nowhere a deer crosses my path. No harm done, but it got my adrenaline pumping. I was not happy about the deer but very pleased that I was completely alert for the rest of the trip. I passed through a sleepy little town just prior to arriving at the lodge. It was about 1 in the morning, and I drove a little too fast at the edge of town. Lo and behold a very kind, gentle, older sheriff was on duty and felt the need to pull me over. Literally, five miles from the lodge, I got a speeding ticket from one of the nicest men I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Happy to meet the man, not happy to get the ticket...not happy.
I checked in at the lodge, eventually got to my room. It was after two at this point, and I was exhausted. I finally came down from the adrenaline rush and fell asleep. When I awakened, it was a beautiful sunshine-filled day, and I discovered I was in the middle of the desert. The place where I stayed had been on fire the year before. It was desolate. I love quiet, but desolate is not for me.
Still tired from my journey, I eventually roused myself to have lunch. But I have to admit I spent the first 24 hours of my 5-day trip being bitter that I was in the middle of the desert. The Lord led me to a take a drive into Arizona toward a little town. I made a quick stop at the Four Corners, met a nice young couple on their honeymoon. We took each others' photos being in four states at once and parted ways. Then, I began my drive. Yes, I was being obedient, but I was not happy about it.
I don't recall how far into the drive I was, but somewhere in the Middle-of-Nowhere, Arizona, I saw a little green bush growing out of a rock. I heard the Lord say that He could grow something anywhere, even out of a rock. I felt such calm in my spirit. I repented for my poor behavior and attitude and began to enjoy my time with God.
He led me to many places on that trip that I never could have imagined, and He called me to write this book. He showed me that He creates life where there is no life and restores life where it has been stolen. He brought restoration to me through the starkness of the desert and the display of abundant life in the nearby national forest where I had my one-night retreat. It was a glowing time. I was thrilled that even though I didn't know why I was to go, I went...into the desert alone to be with God....to be alone where He could speak to me. I guess desolate is for me after all.
Thanks, God.
Until next time...
"Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes" (Psalm 17:7, NIV).
This was kind of a last-minute trip, so to stay slightly economical I flew to Albuquerque, which was 4 hours away from where I was staying. A long drive into the desert at night. The sky was magnificent. It was a moonless night, and the stars were out by the billions. A great way to begin the trip.
As I continued to drive, I grew tired. In fact, within 45 miles of my destination, I literally was having trouble keeping my eyes open. Then, out of nowhere a deer crosses my path. No harm done, but it got my adrenaline pumping. I was not happy about the deer but very pleased that I was completely alert for the rest of the trip. I passed through a sleepy little town just prior to arriving at the lodge. It was about 1 in the morning, and I drove a little too fast at the edge of town. Lo and behold a very kind, gentle, older sheriff was on duty and felt the need to pull me over. Literally, five miles from the lodge, I got a speeding ticket from one of the nicest men I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Happy to meet the man, not happy to get the ticket...not happy.
I checked in at the lodge, eventually got to my room. It was after two at this point, and I was exhausted. I finally came down from the adrenaline rush and fell asleep. When I awakened, it was a beautiful sunshine-filled day, and I discovered I was in the middle of the desert. The place where I stayed had been on fire the year before. It was desolate. I love quiet, but desolate is not for me.
Still tired from my journey, I eventually roused myself to have lunch. But I have to admit I spent the first 24 hours of my 5-day trip being bitter that I was in the middle of the desert. The Lord led me to a take a drive into Arizona toward a little town. I made a quick stop at the Four Corners, met a nice young couple on their honeymoon. We took each others' photos being in four states at once and parted ways. Then, I began my drive. Yes, I was being obedient, but I was not happy about it.
I don't recall how far into the drive I was, but somewhere in the Middle-of-Nowhere, Arizona, I saw a little green bush growing out of a rock. I heard the Lord say that He could grow something anywhere, even out of a rock. I felt such calm in my spirit. I repented for my poor behavior and attitude and began to enjoy my time with God.
He led me to many places on that trip that I never could have imagined, and He called me to write this book. He showed me that He creates life where there is no life and restores life where it has been stolen. He brought restoration to me through the starkness of the desert and the display of abundant life in the nearby national forest where I had my one-night retreat. It was a glowing time. I was thrilled that even though I didn't know why I was to go, I went...into the desert alone to be with God....to be alone where He could speak to me. I guess desolate is for me after all.
Thanks, God.
Until next time...
"Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes" (Psalm 17:7, NIV).
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Next Step
Once the Lord had healed me to a certain point physically, I went to work with my cousin, a gifted chiropractor, as a nutrition and wellness consultant, and I worked on acquiring funding for my company's first project. Lots of new things, living in two cities. Exciting stuff. Life was back on track.
To celebrate, I visited friends in Europe, my first trip back since I had been ill. It was a great time filled with lots of fun, reconnecting, roaming about Rome, hiking in the Alps, then a stopover to see an old friend in the south of Germany. It was greatly rejuvenating.
My last night in Germany, the Lord awakened me at 2 a.m. and showed me the face of a woman crying out. Him awakening me to pray was not new. And even though I did not know her personally, I prayed for her until I felt released to return to sleep. Over and done with...or so I thought.
Three days later, I was heading to one city to see patients. Suddenly, I saw the woman's face flash before my mind's eye, and I felt an excruciating pain in my chest. I saw her sitting on her couch crying. Again, I felt led to pray. And again, I prayed until I felt released to stop. However, this was different. Something had changed.
During the next few weeks and even months, the Lord led me to pray for this individual, often feeling her pain. He also led me to write a letter and tell her my story of healing. I admit I did not want to do this. In fact, I wrote the letter but did not send it until one month later when prompted by His soft but firm voice telling me to do so. I sent it with what I can only call a knowing that she would respond. Still, I was surprised to receive a letter from her a few weeks later - right before I was to attend a conference where she would be.
Upon our arrival at the conference, heavy spiritual warfare ensued. Everything from piercing my hand on a nail sticking up from a chair, which weakened me to the point of being unable to walk for a brief period, to barely being able to speak - all things I had experienced while ill but things that had not been an issue for many months. I had difficulty walking into the convention center also and needed a wheelchair to get to our seats. These things made me only more determined to do what the Lord wanted me to do. Once we were settled in my friend said, "You know you have to speak to her, right?" While I did not want to approach her, I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. So I did. The second day of the conference, I waited until a crowd left her and said hello. She said my name before I had the opportunity to say it. It was strange, almost like an out of body experience. It certainly was not something I had experienced before. The Lord truly was in control. We spoke briefly, but I felt a huge burden to ask if she had been discouraged. When I asked, it was as if a huge weight lifted from her. She grabbed my arm and sighed, "Yes" as if to say "Yes, someone finally sees me."
She is a marvelous individual. And while I do not know her well, I am thankful that the Lord used me to show someone in need that He sees her. I could have said no. In fact, God and I would still be fine, and I would still get to go to heaven if I said no. But I didn't want to miss it. I didn't want to miss the opportunity to be used in a big or small way to impact someone's life for God.
This was a big step in the radical obedience journey for me, and I still am learning more every day. Is it scary? Sometimes. Is it a sacrifice? As a general rule. Is it worth it? Totally.
Our journeys with God will look different. What is right for me may not be right for you. The focus has to be God. When we spend time with Him, when we wait on Him, He speaks. And sometimes the things He speaks are the very things that will change the world - even if the world is the person who lives next door to you.
Spend time with the Lord. Get to know Him. And then, get to know what He wants to do in and through you. It is exciting stuff, and you are totally worth it.
Until next time...
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matthew 7:7-8, NIV).
To celebrate, I visited friends in Europe, my first trip back since I had been ill. It was a great time filled with lots of fun, reconnecting, roaming about Rome, hiking in the Alps, then a stopover to see an old friend in the south of Germany. It was greatly rejuvenating.
My last night in Germany, the Lord awakened me at 2 a.m. and showed me the face of a woman crying out. Him awakening me to pray was not new. And even though I did not know her personally, I prayed for her until I felt released to return to sleep. Over and done with...or so I thought.
Three days later, I was heading to one city to see patients. Suddenly, I saw the woman's face flash before my mind's eye, and I felt an excruciating pain in my chest. I saw her sitting on her couch crying. Again, I felt led to pray. And again, I prayed until I felt released to stop. However, this was different. Something had changed.
During the next few weeks and even months, the Lord led me to pray for this individual, often feeling her pain. He also led me to write a letter and tell her my story of healing. I admit I did not want to do this. In fact, I wrote the letter but did not send it until one month later when prompted by His soft but firm voice telling me to do so. I sent it with what I can only call a knowing that she would respond. Still, I was surprised to receive a letter from her a few weeks later - right before I was to attend a conference where she would be.
Upon our arrival at the conference, heavy spiritual warfare ensued. Everything from piercing my hand on a nail sticking up from a chair, which weakened me to the point of being unable to walk for a brief period, to barely being able to speak - all things I had experienced while ill but things that had not been an issue for many months. I had difficulty walking into the convention center also and needed a wheelchair to get to our seats. These things made me only more determined to do what the Lord wanted me to do. Once we were settled in my friend said, "You know you have to speak to her, right?" While I did not want to approach her, I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. So I did. The second day of the conference, I waited until a crowd left her and said hello. She said my name before I had the opportunity to say it. It was strange, almost like an out of body experience. It certainly was not something I had experienced before. The Lord truly was in control. We spoke briefly, but I felt a huge burden to ask if she had been discouraged. When I asked, it was as if a huge weight lifted from her. She grabbed my arm and sighed, "Yes" as if to say "Yes, someone finally sees me."
She is a marvelous individual. And while I do not know her well, I am thankful that the Lord used me to show someone in need that He sees her. I could have said no. In fact, God and I would still be fine, and I would still get to go to heaven if I said no. But I didn't want to miss it. I didn't want to miss the opportunity to be used in a big or small way to impact someone's life for God.
This was a big step in the radical obedience journey for me, and I still am learning more every day. Is it scary? Sometimes. Is it a sacrifice? As a general rule. Is it worth it? Totally.
Our journeys with God will look different. What is right for me may not be right for you. The focus has to be God. When we spend time with Him, when we wait on Him, He speaks. And sometimes the things He speaks are the very things that will change the world - even if the world is the person who lives next door to you.
Spend time with the Lord. Get to know Him. And then, get to know what He wants to do in and through you. It is exciting stuff, and you are totally worth it.
Until next time...
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened" (Matthew 7:7-8, NIV).
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
So what is Radicality?
As the subtitle reads, Radicality is a life lived in abandon toward God. It is a move beyond practicality to an adventure into the unknown. It is an invitation that God gives us to lean on Him fully and walk with Him daily. I cannot say that I totally understand it, but I can tell you that when you say yes to Him, it is the wildest ride you will ever take. And it is definitely worth the price of admission.
My personal journey started when I was very frustrated with the work I was doing. I didn't know if I should go back to school, start writing as a profession or something else. I simply didn't know. Two days later, I had flown to Arizona for a meeting. Before my colleague and I headed out for sushi, I knelt by the bed in the hotel and prayed the prayer of Jabez. I finally asked the Lord what He wanted me to do with my life.
That night, I was watching the New York Yankees pummel the Arizona Diamondbacks. I must admit I did not expect the Lord to answer so quickly, but He did. It was almost as though He breathed a big sigh of relief, and that release breathed new life into me. He kept me up all night with ideas for a company. It was nothing short of amazing how things fell into place.
As things progressed toward starting the company, I became very ill. I had struggled with a heart condition from the time I was a teenager. The symptoms had been controlled by heart medication for nearly a decade. However, the side effects of the medication and other issues developed - from serious fatigue to infection and illnesses that were debilitating and nearly took my life. In many ways my world became very small. I couldn't drive, do laundry, often could only speak in a whisper. I couldn't run or bike. I couldn't listen to music or read without getting a splitting headache (with the exceptions of the Bible and Purpose Driven Life). I slept a great deal due to the fatigue. Often, I had days when I couldn't walk. Then on days when I could, I walked with a cane for 8 months. Many of my biggest stress relievers were taken away. In fact, every word I would have used to describe myself was taken away - strong, smart, independent, self-reliant, etc, that is, with the exception of one - Christian. And that was where the healing began.
During the time of illness, the Lord used the Bible to sustain and encourage me greatly. He used Purpose Driven Life to enlighten me about the journey He and I had been on and to move me toward the realization that He wanted more of me. I had always belonged to Him. I also had the great privilege and blessing of being raised in and by the church, seeing faith, love and generosity lived out before my very eyes. There also was a great man the Lord sent to help me see that Jesus was a part of our lives every day. Because of these influences, I have lived a life generally leaning on and toward God, and prayed and read my Bible nearly every day since I was 11. In the midst of all this devotion to Him, all this study of Him, something still was missing. Yes even with all of this, God wasn't my CEO, and He wanted all of me.
So as my world became very small, my life became entirely His. As He healed me physically, He began to do a much greater work and heal me emotionally as well. I can say quite honestly that He has led me up to the mountaintops and through the darkest valleys. And He reminds me of something a great evangelist wrote: that the mountaintops provide great views, but the fruit is borne in the valley. There is a lot to tell, but suffice it to say that now I want Him more than anything, and I finally learned what Paul meant when he wrote about praying unceasingly.
Wild stuff. Radical stuff. No more practicality. Here am I Lord. Send me.
Until next time...
O LORD, we have waited for You;
The desire of our soul is for Your name
And for the remembrance of You.
With my soul I have desired You in the night,
Yes, by my spirit within me I will seek You early (Isaiah 26:8-9a, NKJV).
My personal journey started when I was very frustrated with the work I was doing. I didn't know if I should go back to school, start writing as a profession or something else. I simply didn't know. Two days later, I had flown to Arizona for a meeting. Before my colleague and I headed out for sushi, I knelt by the bed in the hotel and prayed the prayer of Jabez. I finally asked the Lord what He wanted me to do with my life.
That night, I was watching the New York Yankees pummel the Arizona Diamondbacks. I must admit I did not expect the Lord to answer so quickly, but He did. It was almost as though He breathed a big sigh of relief, and that release breathed new life into me. He kept me up all night with ideas for a company. It was nothing short of amazing how things fell into place.
As things progressed toward starting the company, I became very ill. I had struggled with a heart condition from the time I was a teenager. The symptoms had been controlled by heart medication for nearly a decade. However, the side effects of the medication and other issues developed - from serious fatigue to infection and illnesses that were debilitating and nearly took my life. In many ways my world became very small. I couldn't drive, do laundry, often could only speak in a whisper. I couldn't run or bike. I couldn't listen to music or read without getting a splitting headache (with the exceptions of the Bible and Purpose Driven Life). I slept a great deal due to the fatigue. Often, I had days when I couldn't walk. Then on days when I could, I walked with a cane for 8 months. Many of my biggest stress relievers were taken away. In fact, every word I would have used to describe myself was taken away - strong, smart, independent, self-reliant, etc, that is, with the exception of one - Christian. And that was where the healing began.
During the time of illness, the Lord used the Bible to sustain and encourage me greatly. He used Purpose Driven Life to enlighten me about the journey He and I had been on and to move me toward the realization that He wanted more of me. I had always belonged to Him. I also had the great privilege and blessing of being raised in and by the church, seeing faith, love and generosity lived out before my very eyes. There also was a great man the Lord sent to help me see that Jesus was a part of our lives every day. Because of these influences, I have lived a life generally leaning on and toward God, and prayed and read my Bible nearly every day since I was 11. In the midst of all this devotion to Him, all this study of Him, something still was missing. Yes even with all of this, God wasn't my CEO, and He wanted all of me.
So as my world became very small, my life became entirely His. As He healed me physically, He began to do a much greater work and heal me emotionally as well. I can say quite honestly that He has led me up to the mountaintops and through the darkest valleys. And He reminds me of something a great evangelist wrote: that the mountaintops provide great views, but the fruit is borne in the valley. There is a lot to tell, but suffice it to say that now I want Him more than anything, and I finally learned what Paul meant when he wrote about praying unceasingly.
Wild stuff. Radical stuff. No more practicality. Here am I Lord. Send me.
Until next time...
O LORD, we have waited for You;
The desire of our soul is for Your name
And for the remembrance of You.
With my soul I have desired You in the night,
Yes, by my spirit within me I will seek You early (Isaiah 26:8-9a, NKJV).
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